My First Meetup - meetup.com

Since the majority of my friends have decided to go to university in different parts of the UK, my social life has, well...disappeared to put it lightly. I decided to look on the Internet on where to make new friends, when I came across an app called meetup.

The Proposal

I joined in September 2016, and went to my first ''meetup'' in March 2017. That's 6 months of excuses, anxiety, cancelling plans, de-motivation, and loneliness.

So, how have I managed to go to this one? Well, it was a brand new meetup group meaning that no one knew each other (yet). This was the perfect opportunity to get comfortable with talking to strangers, as we were all in the same boat, all looking for connections. It's a human need to interact with our kind (but dogs aren't bad).

I was a little (or a lot) anxious to come by myself so I got my boyfriend to join me. The plan was going to a bar, then to a bar with a dance floor and finally to a bar with a big dance-floor and awesome music!

Hypothesis

I thought that I would go and then leave without even speaking to anyone. Or that I would speak to people and feel so awkward that I would leave. Both scenarios result in me not trying which yes, prevents me from looking desperate, but also prevents anything in my life from changing.

The first hello is always the hardest

Being only 19 and finding yourself in a situation like this, when you should be surrounded by friends (in the case of going to university), is daunting. As we approached a group of around 20 individuals all laughing and talking, I instinctively put on my alter-ego*. It was like a supply teacher walking into a class of full of intimidating teens. I said

''Hi, is this the meetup?''

which was followed by a echo of yeses and nods...now what? I started talking about myself not realising that I was talking to 3 pairs of eyes. I felt the pressure to be funny and inclusive but I knew I couldn't do it. I couldn't be that interesting girl that everyone calls charismatic or confident. I had my councillor's words in my head ''it okay'' and ''you don't have to be perfect''.

Alter-ego*= When my anxiety gets too much and my better me takes over, making me appear like a really excited and confident girl.

As the night progressed I found my alter ego to be my natural self around these people. In the end around 40 people turned up...which meant that it was impossible to get round everybody- leaving me feeling like I missed out on opportunities but at the same time I appreciate the good conversations I had with the people I did talk to.

Result

I met very interesting people, and I had a fun night out. I did not become best friends with anyone after one encounter (naturally), and that's okay. I would highly recommend trying the app if you feel like you want some new connections. After all, we're all in the same boat striving for friendships and understanding from others.

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#journalist #strangersfromtheinternet #nightout #dancing #fun #meetup