Understanding Loved One's Mental Suffering
- Angie
- Aug 5, 2017
- 3 min read
This is dedicated to those who are trying to understand their loved ones...

Life is like the ocean.
We need its water to survive,
but it can kill us so easily.
We need to be strong enough to fight it,
but humble enough to let it be.
Depression
Imagine being stuck in the middle of the ocean, with no sign of anything but water, everywhere. You are alone, and dying, or wanting to die. But you can't drown because the ocean is forcing you to stay afloat. All you have is hope that one day a wave would hit you, or that maybe (and this is a very small chance) someone will come and rescue you. Nevertheless, you are freezing, scared and cannot escape the monotony. How scary would that be? For people who don't understand mental health disorders, visualisations like these make it a little bit easier to understand their loved ones' suffering.

Good and Evil
Your mind is split in 2; the sweet and the troubled. The sweet is the normal self; the person you love and can be around. Their thoughts are rational and their behaviour seems a little on the sensitive side, but it's not a huge issue. The troubled is what the sweet becomes once it is triggered, upset, made to feel vulnerable or scared. The troubled is erratic, unpredictable, contradictory, aggressive, threatening and emotionally unstable. Above all, it is crying out for help. The troubled doesn't want to be troubling others around it, on the contrary, it wants to be loved. Sometimes all the troubled needs is a hug, an ''I love you'', and ''It will be okay''.
I am the sweet but troubled girl.

Social Anxiety
Imagine you were picked by the Universe to be the main suspect in a major crime. And everyone in the whole world is secretly judging you. Not only that, but you know - you are convinced, that they are judging you negatively. They hate you, before they've even met you. They are judging you with their 5 senses, and then the 6th sense; of how you fidget from the nerves of mentally preparing yourself to say a word correctly. And the 7th sense of how they can already see that your self esteem is on the floor, so why on Earth would anyone want to pick it back up? You are simply not worth it. Now, how can you make friends when you already know what they think?

Suicide
Your mind has given up on you. Your body is a corpse and it's too heavy to carry itself, while pretending that everything is fine. The mask has worn off, and what is left is the underneath of the peeled skin on your face. Your organs have been rotting even since you can remember. There is no hope - at least not right in this moment. It's a strong wave. It feels like it will never pass. And, so, the only escape seems to be death. Death is the only thing that is certain in life. Nothing else will ever be certain - your future, happiness, financial stability, emotional support. You have shattered into a million pieces, and it is simply impossible to glue them all back together. Your thoughts are going back and forth. And you're frustrated; to be or not to be? You are smart to think this isn't a selfish act. Because after all, we would let a cancer patient die because they're suffering. But mental suffering is ignored, laughed at, belittled. A death that one has chosen to pursue, should be graceful, peaceful and respectful. Not an embarrassment to the family.

Self-Hatred
Hate is a strong word. And you are not afraid to use it against yourself. It's almost like you live life looking at yourself through stained glass. Glass stained with self-pity, disgust, anger, venom, bitterness, revulsion. Maggots are crawling all over, and you feel sick at the mere sight of your own reflection. You want to punch the mirror. The glass is not cleaned with compliments from your friends or family, nor is it cleaned with your good intentions. You are stuck with this way of thinking and cannot change - it's simply too difficult to resist the big shouty voice screaming at you - that you are pathetic, a waste of space, ugly and a burden. The big shouty voice is scared of the fact that it is a disappointment, for it will never be perfect.
Give that big shouty voice a hug; the hug it never received, for you are your own worst critic - the abuser better left unpunished.
Please be understanding to your loved ones' mental health difficulties. It is very hard for them to explain how they feel, and very hard to understand. Patience, love, support and understanding is all we need in this world.
Samaritans
116 123 (UK)
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All photos used belong to Dora Maar.
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